Monday, October 25, 2010


What do You want from me?

I've been working through Hebrews 11 & 12 for several days. I've been thinking particularly about prayer and the will of God.

It's clear from other verses that God has a will that is really more of a purpose for me and everyone else (gr. Boulomai). It will be accomplished. He also has desires for me and for others that are not always realized (gr. Thelo). They may or may not be accomplished. He might be waiting for me to ask for it!

Check the use in 2Pe3:9: It is not an act of God's will/purpose (Boulomai) that any perish (i.e., He doesn't destine to destruction), but is truly desiring (Thelo) that all come to repentance.

With this in mind, I've been reading Hebrews 12 - within the context of trouble in our life and "unanswered" prayer. I believe He is teaching me that there are times when "the promises" are not realized, or they are "seen from afar" because of a greater purpose - which at times is my training as a disciple of Christ.

This is probably why, in v. 14-17 he warns me of taking matters into my own hands and creating my own solution without Him, as Esau did. (Or even in crafting a solution & saying to myself "surely God is in this solution" or in saying "God, here's the solution, please bless it.")

Later when Esau sought the blessing he could not get it even though he sought it with tears. I don't think I want to go there.

I believe these would all be valid prayers when I don't think God is giving me what I ask for:
"What do You want from me?"
"What do You want for me?
"What do You want me do do?"
"If there's a reason for this in my life, please show me soon, Lord. I'd rather be a quick-learner than a long-sufferer."

Lord, help me have the strength, the faith, and the presence of mind to approach You in such a way - that I might learn Your ways; that I might run with endurance the race that is set before me.

This is hard, Heavenly Father, because my human nature says that, in learning this lesson, if I decide to believe this way, that I am inviting You to take through Job-like suffering, without deliverance, so that I can learn something. That's hard. So, really, help me have trust in Your goodness and Your love for me!

Thursday, October 14, 2010


Everything's going to be alright

Psalm 90:13-17

Cure for the grieving? For the hurting? For the lonely? For the afflicted? For me? "Satisfy us in the morning with Thy lovingkindness, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad according to the days you have afflicted us and the years we have seen evil. Let Thy work appear to Thy servants and Thy majesty to their children. And Let the favor the The Lord our God be upon us - and do confirm the work of our hands. Yes, confirm the work of our hands."

I would paraphrase that last statement as "show me that life, my life, is worthwhile." Where does it begin? "Satisfy us in the morning with Thy lovingkindness." It has to begin with seeking Him. Seeking Him early and seeking Him often.

As Pastor Al said, we learn very little about life from pleasure. The real lessons are learned in pain. Only by seeking the Lord early and often can we change our perspective, our outlook. Only then can we develop a view of life like His.

Satisfy us in the morning with Thy lovingkindness = satisfy us with Your unending commitment, your covenant, your blood covenant of love. "Show me the love" is a fair request to make of God, that is, if we're willing to see it.

It is through God's personal revelation that we come to realize and accept that the bottom line to all of life, for me personally, is: I have Jesus. Because of this everything will be all right. It certainly will not always be good, but it will be alright. "I shall not be greatly shaken."

It's then that our joy and gladness comes from Him. It's then that we begin to live off of verses like these:
Ps 4
many are saying "who will show us any good?" let the light of Your countenance shine upon us, O Lord. You have filled us with gladness more than when the grain and new wine abound. In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You alone, O Lord, are able to make me dwell in safety.
Ps 73
whom have I in heaven but Thee, and besides Thee I desire nothing on the earth. My heart and my flesh may fail, but You are the strength of my heart.
Ps 109
With my mouth I will give thanks abundantly to the Lord, and in the midst of many I will praise Him, fort He stands at the right hand of the needy,to save him from those who judge his oul.
Ps 103
Bless the Lord, O my soul and all that is within me bless His holy name ... He satisfies your years with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


The problem in the wilderness

Psalm 95.

The problem with those in the wilderness is that they "had seen My work" but they "do not know My ways" therefore they "err in their heart."

v.6 - let us worship, let us kneel, He is our God, He is our maker, we are His sheep, we are His people, So, today if you hear His voice, do not harden your heart, as your ancestors did.

As I think about it I have to admit that there are times, maybe even too many times, when I've been afraid of hearing Your voice, Lord. I've been afraid of what you'd say, or what You'd demand of me or take from me, or of how You'd disrupt or change my life, my routine.

I'd say I've been guilty of seeing Your works, but not knowing Your ways, for Your ways are all good for those who love and trust You. Forgive me Lord for judging Your plans, Your character, Your intentions, based on my own character or nature - for thinking You are like me, or even like my father.

All Your ways are good, righteous and filled with mercy and lovingkindness. Maybe I haven't heard Your voice more often because I haven't wanted to hear it, or maybe because You have known I'd balk at it.

I confess, even after realizing this and thinking about it, that I am a bit afraid of Your voice still. I ask that you would help me or enable me to see, perceive, trust your ways - not just Your works. Help me to want Your ways and not just Your works. Help me to not err in my heart!

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